So it comes to an end...

My first ever official redshirt season has finally come to an end. These past few months have been crazy: lots of ups and a whole lot of downs. For the first time in my career, I am STOKED for a break from training/running and a chance to rest my legs. I was thinking about it yesterday and realized I have been training non-stop for 13 months straight now.... That's too long without any major down time. So, as I begin my first ever two week break (I normally just take one, but my body needs some more), I want to take some time to look back and reflect on this past season, and a little beyond.

One thing that I am certain about is the fact that I screwed up big time after cross country this year. I let my crazy thoughts creep into my mind and settle down, convincing me that I didn't need to take a break, that I didn't need rest. Well, I was oh so wrong. I will elaborate. Following my performance at the NCAA DII Cross Country National Championships (which wasn't particularly impressive, might I add), I decided that I was going to try and win a Christmastime 5k road race in Seattle. I decided to forgo taking a week off after Nationals and continued to run and do workouts. I won the 5k, but once it was over, I realized I had only a few short weeks until my first official indoor track meet (my last college didn't have indoor so I technically redshirted freshman year and only ran two indoor meets), so I kept on running to make sure I would be in race shape when it the meet came. Also, I had just transferred schools, so I was eager to make a good first impression. However, I did not. Nor did I all indoor season. I realized that I had been training too hard, too long. I decided to redshirt outdoor so I didn't blow that as well. Now that it is over, I am ready to recharge the legs for two weeks before beginning my long, slow climb to 90 miles per week (which I will hit mid-October, during my redshirt cross country season). So, I hope I can move past my fatigue issues from this year and get 100% healthy again this summer.

Some more good in my spring comes from our recruits for next year! Vince Hamilton, former North Central (Spokane, WA) runner, has transferred from Boise State to Eastern and is joining our team. Also, multiple time State champion David Thor (Kansas) and 4a WA State 800m Champ and meet record holder Nick Boersma (Wenatchee, WA) will be joining us as freshman this fall. All three are extremely talented and will further deepen our already talented team. Unfortunately, we won't see our full potential in cross country until fall '13 because a large number of us will be redshirting cross.

Last but not least, I ended up with some pretty good races this year. I PR'd in the steeple (9:23), 5000m (14:54), and finished second in the 40th Sounds 2 Narrows 12k (39:56). I believe I would have gone a lot faster both indoor and outdoor had I taken adequate rest in the winter, but I am pleased to have earned some big PR's this year. I look forward to next year and hope to drop some major time in all my events.

With that, I leave you. I have to get some finals out of the way and then summer is here! One last thing, I will be attending the Olympic Trials this year in Eugene, so if you are going as well, let me know and we will meet up! Otherwise, continue to run happy and have a great summer!

Winding Down

It's that time of year again... taper time! I have 14 days until my final race of the spring and my legs are beginning to feel the strain of it all. Normally, I wouldn't feel too tired yet, but my mistakes I made after cross season are still weighing heavily on my legs. I think for the first time ever, I will take a full two weeks off after my last race.

Now, to the race. I am running the Sounds to Narrows (S2N) 12k on June 9th. My original plan was to go for the win that weekend. In 2011, I placed a narrow 5th (losing a place on the last, evil uphill) and that was off two weeks of light running following my break after track. I had thought that this year, by not taking my break until after, I would be able to be in great shape and win it all. Unfortunately, Bloomsday took a lot more than a physical toll on me. Mentally, I have not been in a state able to prep for a big race. Recently, I have been trying to get myself back into the swing of things and I am beginning to feel a bit better about it. My new goal is to place in the top 3. Depending on how I feel during the race, I may still attempt to capture the win, but I will leave the race happy and smiley if I get top 3. I felt good yesterday on my (short) tempo run, so we shall see how it all goes.

In other news, one of our recruits for next year just won the 4A State title in the 800m AND set a new state meet record. Also, our other big acquisition seems to be getting healthy and back into training, so we are very excited for the future. Look out for us in indoor, after we all finish redshirting cross. We might be turning a few heads this next year ;)

As always, run happy!

Post-Bloomsday Run Down

First off, I would like to say the pun in my title was not intentional.... but I intentionally did not change it.

Anyways, it has now been over 48 hours since I raced the Bloomsday 12k in Spokane and I have had a lot of time to reflect on what happened Sunday morning. Needless to say, I am not happy about my performance. Despite my promising work-outs the past few weeks and the solid times I've been posting on the track, I fell well short of where I should of been and ever shorter of where I wanted to be in the race. For instance, a few weeks back I did a work-out of 6x1000m. I averaged a 2:58 for the work-out, with the fastest being 2:51. My goal pace for the race was 3:10/km. That is a 12sec/km difference. That's a significant difference. I should have easily been able to drop off 12 seconds per kilometer and ran 3:10 pace, easily. But I didn't. I have looked back to try and see exactly what might have contributed to my poor performance and I have been able to think of a few.

1. Lack of recovery from previous weekends 5k/steeple double

Honestly, I think I should have stuck with only the 5k the weekend before Bloomsday. A big effort to earn a PR followed by a hard effort to simply maintain a decent steeple the next day took more out of my legs than I ever imagined. I spent the whole week feeling like I had tree trunks for legs. Although the work-out went well on Wednesday, I still felt bad and weights did not help. I took Sunday off after my steeple and did my long run Monday, but it did little to help me recover.

2. Trouble sleeping throughout week

Although I tried to sleep well, the truth is, sleep didn't come particularly easy for me last week. I got a good nights sleep in two nights before like you're supposed to, but the other nights were hit and miss. This could also contribute to my lack of recovery from the track double.

3. Morning race v. Night race

This entire outdoor season, all of my track races and work-outs have been run during the afternoon or evening. The mornings have been devoted to either easy shake-out runs or long runs (Sunday's only). It is possible that my body was not conditioned to be ready for a early morning hard effort and simply wouldn't wake up (more a theory than a solid reason, but I felt it was worth mentioning).

4. Insufficient warm-up

I did feel a bit cool and stiff at the beginning of the race. I could have done a few more drills and done them in a more thorough manner.

That is really all I could think of. Like I stated before, all signs really did point to me having a good performance, but I simply did not. Luckily, this is not the end of my season this spring. In 5 weeks I have another 12k road race to run, the Sounds2Narrows in Tacoma, WA. Last year I placed 5th there and this year, the main goal is top 3, with the secondary goal to win. This week is going to be an easy week to try and rest some more, then I will jump back into it, beginning my taper 3 weeks out. Hopefully I will show up ready to run this time, especially since this race is in my own backyard....

Sometimes I Wonder

I have made some big life changes when it comes to college. Unlike a lot of my friends who attend college within a reasonable distance from home, I originally chose to fly off across the country (literally all the way across it) and attend college in North Carolina. That was a big change. Life over there is 100% different from the life I was used to. Slowly, and admittedly reluctantly, I got used to it. It became the norm and a part of my life. Often, I would sit and ask myself, "Did I make the right choice?" At first, I thought I did, however, a huge part of me wanted to return to what I still thought of as "normal". And, after a year and a half, I did. I flew back home and changed schools. Again, I put myself into a situation of great change. I realized that what I thought of as "normal" now wasn't exactly how things were back home. I had changed a bit, as expected. Well, actually I changed quite a bit. And now, I find myself asking the same question, but with a different meaning. Was it worth it? Was the opportunity to be at the Division I level, near some of the biggest meets in the US, and being within driving distance from home worth leaving everything I had built for a year and a half? What great friendships did I leave behind, and potentially start the process of ending? Am I really in a better position athletically to run faster than I would have on the other coast? It's clear the the answer isn't, well, clear. Indoor season certainly showed the switch might not have been worth it. On the other hand, having the opportunity to most likely redshirt two consecutive seasons to develop is and knowing who will be joining the team next year might mean this is the best case scenario for my life. In all honesty, only time will tell. The finally judgement will come the day I get my degree. Then I can give you all the final verdict.

Holy Steeplechase!

Since I am redshirting this outdoor season, I had to wait a bit longer than usual to get my first meet of the season under my belt. I have been spending weeks trying to recuperate from the minor fatigue problems I had during indoor and get back into racing shape. Over the past two weeks, I had two really solid track workouts and my mileage has built me a great foundation. The first workout was 800m repeats which I did at 5k pace (2:20) and I did some over hurdles and was able to maintain my pace even over hurdles out in lane 3. The second was a 1000m repeat workout I did solo which went as follows: 3:02, 3:04, 3:01, 3:01, 2:58, 2:51. The whole thing felt smooth and effortless. This left me VERY excited to step onto the track.

Which brings me to the afternoon of April 12th. I was at Whitworth University in Spokane, WA for their inaugural Twilight Mini Meet. My first race of two, and my emphasis, was the steeple. There were only 5 of us running, so it was quite a small meet. Gun went off, and I took the lead after 300m and never looked back. Earned a solid PR of 9:23.93 (previous was 9:31) running practically solo. However, I did have Rich Nelson (formerly of BYU, now coaching at Gonzaga) coming on me fast in the last lap (I had to glance behind me once to see just how close... needless to say I ran the last 100m scared). After the race, I knew I could go a lot faster. I didn't feel like I even emptied the tank, let alone dug into the well. And then we won't talk about my next race much, because it was slow...

Next on the schedule is a 5k/steeple double at Spokane Falls CC on April 27/28. Then the focus shifts to the Bloomsday and Sounds 2 Narrows 12k's on May 6th and June 12th. Based off my 1000m repeats, I am really looking forward to those two road races.

That's all for now. I'm glad I had something exciting to talk about finally this year. Hopefully there will be many more posts like this one this spring. Run happy!

2012 Bloomsday 12k: Elite Runner?

Yesterday, I learned that my petition for elite seeding in the 2012 Bloomsday 12k in Spokane, WA was accepted and I will be racing alongside the professionals come May 6th. Last year, the top nine spots went to Kenyan/Ethiopian runners. Only 11 Americans finished in the top 25 (for men). The winning time was 33:58. When did I earn the right to join these ranks?

I'm not complaining though. Hell, I am the one who ASKED to be put there. But, now that I am there, it's very intimidating. I'm about to race international caliber athletes. Some probably have a legit chance at Olympic teams. All the Americans entered have run well under 13:45 in the 5000m. Most near 2:10 in the marathon. What am I doing mixed in with them?

Then again, why wouldn't I take this opportunity? I finally get to put myself in a position where I HAVE to step my game up. I have to push. I get to see where I really stack up. Plus, the longer the race, the better I usually perform. So maybe this isn't such a bad idea. No, I don't intend on winning. Or even getting top 10. Top 25 would let me leave the race more than satisfied. So, here we go. Barely over a month left. And I am going to do this. Wish me luck?

Home

It's spring break! No, I am not spending my nearly two weeks (which I only got because of an early final) in Cabo or Miami Beach partying. I went home! And there is no other place I'd rather be.

There is something special about coming back home. Back to your comfort zone. Back to where this all began. My running career started here in this town and it's nice to get back to do what I love best in the place where it all began. There's just this since of familiarity in it and every run seems to be good.

Well, that's all I really wanted to say. Still have a long time until I race, since I am redshirting this outdoor season (April 12th is the first race!). As for now, I will go run the old trails and paths I used to tread in the good ol' days (high school, even though it wasn't that long ago...)

Indoor Season...

I used to like indoor. I used to like the feeling of clicking away lap after lap in a matter of seconds, feeling that you are running faster than you really are. I used to like knowing that I wouldn't have to deal with wind or rain or cold in the race. I used to like the up close and personal feel you get with the crowds with the smaller facilities. I used to like indoor...

Right now, indoor and I are on VERY rough terms. I am not fond of indoor. I am not fond of winter. I am not fond of that dreaded, dismal, awful, less than 400m track. I strongly dislike how close to the crowds you are...

Three poor... no, that's not the right word... Three horrible... ya, that works... Three horrible races in a row. Not one effort to be proud of. Three times leaving that miserable, crowded, humid, sorry excuse for a facility feeling like a failure. Feeling like I shouldn't even have bothered. No, I do not like indoor, not one bit...

Then there's winter. Oh winter, how I loath thee right now. The bitter cold. The awful colds that only pretend to go away, just to reappear when you can't afford them. The feeling of always running on empty. Running out of breath doing the simplest of tasks. I dislike winter...

But, I do not hate indoor. Indoor is a part of my life, a part of my running that I have dedicated all of myself too. I cannot hate it, for I love running. I love to race. And they are one in the same. And winter, though it is the time of illness, it also brings snow, and encourages hot coffee and hot coco. No, I do not hate indoor and I do not hate winter... We are just not talking at the moment...

"The Streak"

150

150 is a pretty big number. You might think that in the big picture, it really isn't, but imagine this: 150 rabid dogs chasing you, 150 balloons stuffed in your car, 150 days in solitude. 150 is a lot.

Starting September 6th, I ran consecutively for 150 days, without a day off. Ya, some days were 2-3 miles, but others were 12-15. Distance aside, that is 150 days of constant pounding on my legs. 150 days of constant fatigue. Those were a great 150 days, until I started trying to race...

I learned very quickly through all this that streaks are okay if you run for recreation. But, if you are trying to be competitive, they don't work too well. Sure, streak a season is one thing, but streak through the off-season, through times where you should be not running, is not good. I know there are guys out there, fast guys, who probably streak, but it is not for me. I will not be attempting this again, unless one day, in the far off future, I am in a spot where it makes sense. Until then, happy resting.

Frustration...

Another Dempsey meet, another bus ride home disappointed...

This past weekend, I completed at the UW Invite. Again, I attempted a run for the 3k/5k double conference qualifier, and yet again, I fell way short. Unlike last time, which I can blame on the poor race tactics I exhibited in the early stages of the race (I'm learning that it's not important to take the lead from the gun), this time I can blame a poorly timed and managed cold... Yes, all through the week I could feel it coming, and yet, I didn't try to fight it until the morning of the race. The result? All the strength and energy I had hoped would be available for my race was used to combat the cold, and since no help was given to my body, come race time, I was already exhausted. The first 800 went by well, then my teammate, whom I was working with in the race, made a move, I was slightly boxed in and by the time I had a chance to follow, my body said, "Nope!" The rest of the race, well, it's history. A 2-second PR, but still not the time my training indicates I should be running.

So, what's the plan? Well, after thinking I'd have the weekend off from racing, my coach decided to throw me into the mile at the University of Idaho this Friday. Also, I am coming to believe that my streak of consecutive days running (I don't know exactly how many days, but it's a lot...) may be catching up to me, so this week is a down week. Get some rest for my legs, then try some short and fast racing. Hopefully I can get a mile PR (ran a 4:24 1600 in high school) and some much needed rest. Then, I am hitting up the 5k at the Husky Classic the following weekend and earning myself a conference qualifier. If I feel up to it, I may even go for the 3k qualifier again another day.

Disappointed? Absolutely. Discouraged? Never. Motivated? Even more than before. It's just another day in the Trail of Miles and Miles of Trials.

The Darker Side of Life

In the past week, a lot of people within the running community have been writing about the recent admission of EPO use by Irish runner, Martin Fagan. A lot of those writing have done so from a perspective of either one who knows him personally or someone who wants to get the truth out about his reasoning for using EPO. I would like to take a slightly different perspective on this story. I do not know Martin personally (although maybe I will meet him one day) nor do I think it is particularly necessary to retell his story in another blog. In all honesty, this blog won't really even be about Martin, but will use his example to hit a much larger issue. And so, I will begin...

After reading numerous blogs and articles about Martin's EPO use, we all know that it stemmed from a personal struggle with depression. He had hit a low in his life, particularly with his race performances, and he resorted to EPO on one occasion, as many have called, "a cry for help." The bigger issue though, is not his EPO use. It is his depression. Well, actually, not his depression, but depression in general.

Those few of us who engage in the rigorous and tedious daily task of training for cross country, track, marathons, ultras, road races, etc..., have learned all too well the physical, as well as mental, toll it can take on us. If you have ever read the novel, "Once A Runner," you might identify this as "the breakdown." We all reach a point in our training where our body says, "Enough is enough! Give me a break!" When most of us reach this point, we reasonably step back and allow our bodies time to recover. However, there are many of us who face times when we cannot afford to do so, or as in some cases, we are too stubborn to do so. We tell ourselves that we can run it off or that it is just a bump in the road (I would definitely put myself in that category). When this happens, sometimes we just power through it and return to things as normal. Other times, we face even worse consequences. We fall deeper into the hole we have dug and that is where the mental toll starts to devastate.

What often results from this downfall is a spiral into depression. We try to push harder, and when the results don't come, the mind breaks down. It has happened to many runners and many other athletes. Hell, it happens to non-athletes when their life gets out of control. And when a person is at this low point, they make decisions that don't reflect their true character. Alcoholism, drug use, partying, and a plethora of other things.

I myself have had a personal battle with depression over the past few years. And, like Martin, I have been involved in a rigorous and straining training regimen (although I will admit that his most likely makes mine look like a cakewalk). I know from personal experience what it feels like to watch your performances decline drastically, and then try to salvage your season, only to watch it fall apart even more. I know firsthand that poor choices can be made in those times and the feeling of helplessness that accompanies it. I know what if feels like to want to reach out for help, but being too proud to ask for it straight out. And I believe that is what pushed Martin to that point. The pride you get as being one of your nations top marathoners and a player on the international stage is one I can only imagine right now. And then to watch all that start to fall apart, I cannot imagine that feeling. But I know it isn't a good one. Although I agree with the decision to put him on a two year ban, I think we all need to realize he wasn't out to cheat the system and steal an Olympic medal away from a more deserving athlete. He was crying out to us, and I believe that when he returns to racing in two years, he deserves a warm welcome home.

As my training gets harder and my goals get bigger, I feel more and more everyday the risk of falling into this hole increases. I know that the higher you climb, the farther you have to fall. It is a risk everyone, athlete or not, takes to achieve eternal greatness, something far bigger than any of us. And with that all said, I want to say to Martin and to anyone else in his place, you aren't alone. There are others of us who have been down that road, and who are there for you to reach out too. Don't let your pride stop you from seeking help, like it stopped Martin, and has stopped me before.

There are many positive and legal alternatives to combating this breakdown that Martin experienced. The most obvious is to simply take your foot off the gas and rest. Stop running and training and take time off. When you don't have that option, such as you find yourself breaking down in the middle of your season, scaling back or finding different training mechanisms, such as cross training, to rest your body and still keep your aerobic capacity up can rejuvenate you and keep your racing on schedule. The most important thing though, is to reach out to someone. Don't try and fight it alone. Tell a coach or a parent or a mentor about how you feel and have them help you work through it. And keep checking in with them until you are back to 100%. There is no reason to go at this alone, it only increases your risk of worsening the problem.

Run smart, run hard, and most of all, run happy.

Long Time, No... Blog?

Well, it has been almost one month since my last blog post and a lot of life-changing events have taken place. So, I figured it is time for a little update.

As you all know, I transferred after this past cross season. Well, I am now 2 days into my first week of school at Eastern Washington University and so far, I like what I see. I finally have the big campus feel (although this campus doesn't compare in size to say, the University of Washington, it is MUCH larger than my last school), and I see a bunch of EWU gear being worn by students instead of seeing other schools other than our own represented every day. As for the team, I have met all the guys and I can say I am fond of them all. I foresee no problems with them. I haven't met many of the women yet, but the ones I have met are great. I race this weekend at the Dempsey for my first official indoor track season (I ran 2 indoor meets at UNCP, but they don't officially have it as a sport). Hopefully I don't do horribly in this 3k against some good competition, but we shall see. Training has been going well, so I am optimistic about the race.

In other, non-running related news, I am positive I found my future wife. She works with me at Dick's Sporting Goods, but she does not know I intend on marrying her. I HAVE talked to her though, so baby steps.

That is all for now, but I should be posting more regularly now that I have more exciting things to talk about. Take care all!