Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Hills.

hill: noun: A naturally raised area of land, not as high or craggy as a mountain

To many runners, this word may represent one of the worst things that could possibly pop up in the middle of a run. To a crazy few (myself included), this word represents one of the greatest things that could pop up in the middle of a run.

For the past few months, my runs have been deprived of these beautiful, challenging objects. The flat lands of North Carolina, specifically Pembroke, have forced me to train on flat, even terrain. While this is perfect for speed training, it leaves out the definitely benefit of incorporating hills into your training.

Fast forward to now... It is currently 12/13/2011. I have logged 2 consecutive days of runs through hilly terrain. Tomorrow will be the third, and undoubtedly, I will probably hit upwards of a full week of hilly runs. Mentally, this is the most exciting thing to happen to my runs since I got some new running attire over a month ago. But why write a post about it? Because...

MY LEGS ARE THE MOST SORE THEY'VE BEEN IN MONTHS. It hurts to crouch down. And even extend them fully. I am not used to hills anymore and it sucks after hitting them hard for 2 straight days. Pretty much, I just wanted to vent about my soreness.

In all honesty, I am beyond stoked that I have hills to run on again, but I also cannot wait until I am used to them because I miss not being sore...

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Like the Changing of the Seasons

Another season and another semester over and done with. This one was better than the last and I will never forget what happened. I set out to qualify for my first National Championship ever and I did just that. Despite not racing quite how I wanted to once I got there, it was an experience I will never forget. Now, that has passed and I am trying to survive finals week and preparing to head home for Christmas. But when I leave North Carolina this Friday, I will not be coming back...

Starting in January, I will begin anew at Eastern Washington University. It is time for me to move on to (hopefully) bigger things and do so a lot closer to home. I have known I was leaving at the end of this semester since last school year. I am leaving for personal reasons that no one else is responsible for. My coach, teammates, and school here in NC have been incredibly good to me, and I hate to part with them, but I know this is the right move. I hope to carry the success I found this season into the DI level and grow even more among the fierce competition that awaits me. I know, with the right mindset, I can achieve BIG things.

With all this being said, I want to say thank you to my coach for doing all that he has to help me be successful these past 3 seasons, to my teammates for constantly pushing me and encouraging me to fight for my dreams, my competitors for providing amazing competition for me to run with, and all my friends I made in school for doing your best to make me feel at home here. I will miss each and every one of you and wish you all the best of luck.

"Succes isn't how far you got, but the distance traveled from where you started."
-Steve Prefontaine

Sunday, December 4, 2011

NOB

No, not noob. Or boob. Or non. NOB. Nike Or Bust. I came up with this term over summer with a friend and fellow collegiate runner from the University of Washington and it has stuck in my head ever since. It's a declaration. A goal. A mission. It says we are determined to make a run to go professional after college. No, not necessarily for Nike (although that would be awesome!), but at any level of professionalism. It doesn't matter to us if our times aren't fast enough yet, or even if they ever will be. What matters it that every day, every run, every race, in the back of our minds is this goal. It drives us, motivates us, picks us up when we feel weak. Every PR and every good race brings us that much closer to achieving our goal. Only time will tell if we will get there, but you can be damned sure that every day we will fight for it.

NOB.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

And it has passed..

That was not how I wanted my season to end. That was not the race I prepared, both physically and mentally to have. That is not the race I know I could have run today. If I would have run how I know I could have, how I prepared to, and how I should have, I would have actually put myself in a position to win. That is just based on times. Factor in the snow, and I walk away from this race an All-American easily.

But here we end up: 77th place and a 33:02. My slowest 10k ever and around 40 places back from where I should have been at worst. It took my almost 5k to get going,to get into a groove. It wasn't enough, it was too little too late, it wasn't good enough.

I don't know where this leaves me, but I do know that I have a lot of work to do. A lot of miles to run.

This is it.

3 hours left until the race. Time to put it all on the line.

Friday, November 18, 2011

The calm before the storm.

The night before the big race. Last night to rest up and prepare. The nerves haven't hit yet, but tomorrow they should. Everything is ready. I've prepared all I can. This is the moment.

A friend of mine told me today, " Good luck and treat it as if you'll never get this chance again." And that is exactly how I plan on racing tomorrow.

Let it snow, let is snow let it.... wait, snow?

So I woke up this morning and it was a chilly 21 and snowing out! Yes, there is already about 1-2 inches of snow on the ground here in Spokane and more is expected today and tonight. It's going to be a cold and wet race, but, I am very excited for it. I love snow and I love racing in it. I'd rather have snow then cold rain.

Also, my parents get here tonight! I haven't seen them since August 10th (I believe that was the day I left). This is going to be very exciting! Hopefully they will get here in time for dinner, if the mountain passes are clear enough, so they can join my coach, teammate, and I. It's going to be a very exciting day.

Today we head to the course for a very easy, short run and then some strides in our spikes to get a feel for the snow and longer spike length. Hopefully I don't freeze!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

And so it beings!

Last night I arrived in Spokane, WA (my home state) for the NCAA D2 XC National Championships! It was a long day of travel, hitting 4 different airports and 3 long and uncomfortable flights (for those of you that may not know, I HATE flying...). I survived the day on a bowl of oatmeal and chocolate milk for breakfast, then just the packs of peanuts/pretzels and ginger ale on the planes. All of them were late, so we had zero time to stop to eat a real lunch. Plus, my butt started hurting really bad from all that sitting... Finally, we made it to Spokane and man, am I happy. It's good to breathe in that Northwest air again.

After we landed, we went straight in search of dinner. We ended up at P.F. Changs and man, it was good! Asian grilled Norwegian salmon and dumplings. This is the plus side to being only one of two athletes at this meet, we have a bit more money for food. It snowed a bit after dinner and it was cold, which is the forecast for the rest of our stay really.

Today, we preview the course. I have run this course before in high school (the 5k version) and I'm excited to race it again. It should be fast, fast, fast! I think we are also seeing "Immortals" tonight to pass the time. Honestly though, I am looking forward to eating again. I like this whole, "Order whatever you want" deal we have going this trip!

But in all honesty, I am beyond stoked and pumped for this race. I know I have earned this and I have a chance to prove that I should be here. Sub-31 and All-American are the goals, and I am ready to reach them. Destroy all self-doubt.

I'll be tweeting and blogging more often these next few days, so keep a look out for updates!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Wow!

That is the only word I can think of to quickly sum up how I feel right now. I am so happy with my race today. 4th place, over a minute PR, and earned myself a trip to Nationals. I'm excited, but at the same time I knew all along I could do this. My times throughout the season may not have reflected it, my places may have said otherwise, but in my mind I was always making it. And I think it was that mental state that helped me most. Finally breaking through my mental barriers. I did exactly what I set out to do, and I couldn't have asked for anything more.

I want to say thank you to all my coaches, friends, family, teammates, teachers and competitors who have supported me all season long and helped me believe I could.

I have my sights set on All-American at Nationals, and I will do my best to represent my school, my conference, region, home state, and everyone I know at Nationals! These next two weeks of training will be filled with hard work and preparation, because this year, my season isn't over yet!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

There's something about November...

Maybe it's the cooler weather. Maybe it's the feeling of the holidays approaching. Or the changing color of the leaves. Or that it's close to the end of semester. No... that's not it... It's that it is championship season! Yes, conference championships happen at the end of October, but those aren't the important ones. November is the time for high school runners to chase down State championships and us college runners to go for the big one, the National championship. There is a feeling in the air you don't get at any other time of the season. Through August, September, and October, things are calmer. Races are run to set PR's, gauge your training, and have fun. But once November hits, you can feel a change in the air (and I'm not talking about just the weather). Training becomes refined. Attitudes become more intense. Goals get bigger. It's no longer about how fast you've run, it's about who you will beat. All that is left of us are those who have proven themselves to be the best. Determination is everywhere. This is championship season. This is where legends are made. Its those legends that people remember. It's time to go for it. Don't hold back. Go for it all!

Monday, October 31, 2011

And I'm back!

It's been awhile since my last post, and there are some reasons (that I won't mention) for that. I believe that enough time has gone by for those reasons to no longer be of importance and that I can write freely again. On thing I would like to state first before I go full into this blog again: this blog is a representation of ME, MY running, MY thoughts on running, and not a critique of anyone or anything other than MYSELF. With that said...

My season is nearing it's focal point: the DII Southeastern Region Championships. This is what my seasons comes down to. I MUST qualify for Nationals.... wait, I AM qualifying for Nationals. I know I will qualify. I have had a great past 2 months of consistent and quality training, my head is where it needs to be, and I am determined as hell. I scrapped a personal mission of a 300 mile month this October because it meant I wouldn't begin resting for Regionals until tomorrow's workout. I know my priorities though so I will have to hit 300 miles another month.

I'm currently fighting a small cold from this weekend, but it is already remarkably better and I will be 100% come Saturday. Destroy all self doubt.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Destroy All Self-Doubt

These words resonate through my head quite often. I first heard them while watching a documentary by my favorite professional runner, Anthony Famiglietti. His movie, "Run Reckless," is definitely a favorite of mine. This small saying has had a huge impact on my running career. Though it has only been about a month since I first saw the movie, I have had many instances where I have needed to repeat this phrase in my head while running. During tough workouts, hard races, and even in non-running aspects of my life, especially in the classroom (I am a STUDENT-athlete afterall...). but it's more than just a phrase that gets uttered in these tough moments, it's what this phrase means to me that I go back to so often. It is true what they say, that anything is possible if you believe. I have HUGE goals and ambitions as a distance runner, many of which are probably outside of my ability to achieve. But whenever I catch myself doubting my ability to reach these goals, I think, "destroy all self-doubt." In my head, I go through all the things that I have overcome, gone through, dealt with in running. I tell myself that a champion doesn't give up when the going gets tough. That I can't reach my goals unless I am willing to push myself, give it everything I have in each and every practice and race. And giving my all doesn't always mean running as hard and fast as possible. During workouts and races, yes, it means pushing my body to the limit and running hard and fast, but on recovery days, it means controlling myself and running my mileage at a pace that will allow me to recovery for the next time I need to thrash my body. It means getting in a long run to build my aerobic base even more. It means going to bed on time to rest, eating well, and hydrating (something I need to do right now). It means stretching after every run. And taking every aspect of this running business serious. Because once I can do all that, I can take the next step to reaching my goals. And if I can do this, I will also destroy all self-doubt. All self-doubt that I am not cut out for this, that I will never be good enough. Destroy all self-doubt. Everyday I work on destroying it all, and once I do, I will destroy the clock.

Friday, September 16, 2011

The Breakdown

Physical. Mental. Emotional. Spiritual. Your legs down work, your body becomes a lifeless vessel, barely existing. Your mind turns against you, tells you to stop, to give up, you aren't good enough. Manic depression, seclusion from friends, family, people in general, no desire to be happy. Trapped, dead, no life left, simply a body existing in the physically world, but nothing beyond that. You're left with only one choice. Give up, stop, quit, let the physical and mental wearing cease, but also let the emotional and spiritual wearing grow more so. Or continue, keep going, let the physical and mental wearing continue, risk worsening the emotional and spiritual wearing, but carry on. Because at this point all you have left is the run.

This is me right now, this is how I cope; I will pull on my shorts, lace up my shoes. I will grab my backpack and head down to the track. I will start my watch and put one foot in front of the other. I will go along, bringing more fatigue and stress to my body. But I will go along. I won't stop, I won't quit, not even for a day. Because for me, there is no life for me without the run, no reason to get up, no reason to go to class, no reason to eat or drink, no reason to exist. Without the run I am nothing, so in spite of this feeling of nothing that envelopes me, at least I'm feeling, because when the day ends, and my sorrows turn to sleep, I know I can say, "at least I ran today," and that is enough for me to do it again, day after day.

As of right now...

... racing season only brings depression to me. Realization that I am not getting good enough training, realization that I am even more a nobody, that kids younger than me and poised to thoroughly own me, that nobody will ever see my name anywhere important. I need to get out of here. I need to go somewhere that matters, where I'll be known, a somebody. Get. Me. Out. Of. Here.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

So, about this week...

This past week has truly been disappointing when it comes to my training. 0 for 2 in workouts, dying hard in both and running far slower than my assigned paces. It's been hot though and I was slightly, kind of really, a lot dehydrated today. Easy run tomorrow then a long run to end the week while some of our girls race and we cheer them on. Luckily, I have quite some time to get things back in line before our next race, which happens to be a big one. A lot of big schools and names there. Definitely going to get a fast time, but for now, I have to keep running and get these legs working right again!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

I think I'm destined to become a coach...

The past two days, I have spent way too much time developing a training plan and making models to show how it works. I'm pretty sure this stems from my distaste with my current training plan and my desire to find something that I like and feel works. Doesn't matter though, because it's just giving me a good understanding and basis on what my training philosophy will be when I finally become a coach.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Confusing to me.

Over summer I ate a lot of fast food and drank a lot of soda, yet I ran and felt great. Now back in school, I eat a lot of healthier food and drink better, and I am now running worse. Time to have a partially bad diet again? Worth a shot!

Monday, August 29, 2011

Last week...

... has got to be one of my most disappointing weeks of training ever. 41 miles. I was at 70 consistently all summer, most weeks not even running 7 days a week. How in the world do I go from easily logging 3 consecutive days of 12 miles to struggling with running period? Where has the great base I put under me gone? Where is the feeling good and rested I had at the start of my season? Destroy all self-doubt, that is my new motto, but right now, in this moment, my self-doubt is kicking my ass. Time to reevaluate things again...

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

What happened? I thought I was back to being able to deal with this climate? What happened to Monday's run when I felt like the old me? Or Wednesday when, despite feeling like crap, I was able to complete my run and do it fast? Or Thursday when I negative split the last 2-mile interval in scorching heat? Why could I not go more than 5-miles yesterday slower than molasses? This isn't how this is supposed to work. It's supposed to be different this time around. What am I supposed to do when my body can't handle this? I know I've been pushing my body, but I've been resting and eating well. We had a day of complete rest Friday. I shouldn't be feeling like this. I guess all I can do is some strides then hit the bike....

Monday, August 22, 2011

Ahh, Monday...

Monday. Most people's least favorite day of the week. The end of the weekend, the beginning of the school/work week. And for me, it also meant 3:30pm practice. Now, you might be thinking, "3:30pm practices? No big deal." Well my friend, let me enlighten you as to why this is a big deal. As you may know, I go to school and run in southern North Carolina, and 3:30pm in late August means one thing and one thing only: mid-90's and more humidity than your mind can comprehend. When you step outside, you begin to steam like the vegetables in the cafeteria for dinner. For every drop of sweat you'd lose in normal conditions, you lose a gallon here (okay, that might be a bit exaggerated, but you get my point). And so, at 3:15 I stepped out of my dorm and headed over to the track. I felt the sun instantly and was already dreaming about finding AC again. We warmed up with 2 miles on the track and drills. Never before in my life had a warm-up left me feeling so beat. The plan for the rest of the day? 8 miles to meet my average daily miles of 10. And so we ran. And I felt the heat and humidity. I thought it would never let up. But then, out of nowhere, I didn't notice it. I was locked into my run and feeling great. Sure, it was still hot as hell and I was sweating like crazy, but I wasn't fazed. At the end of the 8th mile it began to rain and I felt even more rejuvenated. We dropped the pace again and it didn't bother me. When we ended, we had clocked a 64 minute 10-miler. Then it hit me. No, I wasn't used to this weather yet, no one ever gets used to it. I had simply gotten my body to the point where I can push through it. After a very good strength training session, I had an endorphin high like none other. It's time. I'm ready for this season. Less than 2 weeks to go until our first race. NOB.

Also, I got new flats today! :)

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Perseverance.

Patience. Good things come to those who wait. You know what though? I'm sick of waiting. For the past 4 years that I have been a serious running, I've been waiting. Waiting for my chance, my breakthrough, my turn to be on top. I've had so many close calls, too many good chances, and they've all fallen apart. I fell too short, wasn't quite there, bit the dust (or bit the track, probably a bit more appropriate if you know my racing history). I've changed my training, my form, my mindset more time than I can even count. I am ready for my shot, the one chance where I'm ready to full take advantage of it. I'm sick of waiting. This is my time. There is no yesterday, no tomorrow, only right now. NOB.

Haven't posted in a while...

Well, I'm back in North Carolina again. I had a great summer of training this year and I feel fit and ready to go. I only have to get used to this heat/humidity again and I will be ready to let loose. I have a feeling this is going to be a BIG year for me. This season could be the turning point in my running career, the year I break out and get an opportunity to take my running to the next level. And the next level is where I need to be. I'm tired of being a nobody. I want my name to be known all over. I want people to get nervous because they see I'm running the same race as them. This is the season to make that happen. Nothing will stop me, I promise.

Monday, June 20, 2011

The difference between me and other runners.

Outsiders often look at some one taking a nice jog down the boardwalk and think to themselves, "There's another runner." In their minds, they are completely right, and to the general public they are right as well. But in reality, they are very wrong. Society all too often groups people into large, generalized groups, when those people should really be condensed even more into smaller, more specific groups. You may be asking, "What does this have to do with running?" Well, it's simple. Everyone who runs is not a runner. In fact, there are 3 distinct sub-groups within the running community. While there is no wrong group, or lesser group, each has their own goals, ideas, and mindsets.
The first of these groups is the easiest, but largest of the 3 groups. This group has no true name, but I myself have named them, "Those Who Run." What does that mean? I'll explain. When someone in this category decides to run, there is usually a non-running related motive behind it. In most cases, it is weight lose or to get healthy. This person typically views running as a chore, something they have to do. They wake up and the idea of running is followed with dread, fear, and often times, procrastination. The phrase, "I'll do it later" is all too common. And occasionally, "life catches up" with them, and the run gets missed. Many of these people don't stay runners for long due to lack of motivation. This group often gets sucked into bad marketing schemes from running companies to sell us overly priced, and worthless "elite" running products.... You probably know MANY people who fall into this category.
The next group of people are very similar to the previous group, but with a few small, but important difference. This group gets the privilege of being called simply, "runners." Runners often have non-running related motives behind why they run, but this category is the first to also encompass competitive runners as well as the casual ones. This group often dreads and fears the run, but the biggest difference here is that no matter how much they don't want to do it and will complain about it, they will make themselves do it when they said they will. When life gets in the way, they will find a way to fit in their run and get it over with. These people fall into those bad marketing schemes as well. This group is equally as large as the first since it has a broader range of members, and you probably know a few people who fall into this category as well.
Then, there is the third and final group. Chances are, you don't know anyone who falls in this group, or if you do, you only know a small number of them. The only ones who know a large amount of these people, are the people in this group. This group forms a tight-knit community and family. These people are "purist runners." What is a purist runner you ask? "Purist runners" run for one main reason, the pure enjoyment of running. Purist runners run to better themselves, better running, and eventually, better the world. These people may have started with non-running related goals, and been in a previous category, but at one point in their lives, they fell in love with running itself. This group includes competitive runners AND non-competitive runners. These people eat, sleep, and breathe running. Literally. They eat and drink what they do to recover their body from the last run and fuel for the next. They sleep when and how much they do to recovery from and rest for runs. They breathe simply to get oxygen to their muscles to run. They can go out on a run without friends or music because the feeling of running is enough to occupy their minds. They don't showoff that they are a runner, because they don't need to. You can look at them and know they run. They avoid these crazy marketing schemes by companies to sell you overly prices and worthless running products (the barefoot movement is an excellent example). Running is in their blood.
I myself am a purist runner and I know many others like this. I also know many people from the other 2 categories. There is nothing wrong with either group, and we can all get along fine. We all run, but we are different and that makes the running community special. So many different people can share one common thing, running.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Awesome Quote.

"I like running because I determine my results, I set my pace, I decide my place. I lead and let the rest follow. It's all about you. Your ambition, your goals, your desires fueling into your win. Yeah, I'm pretty badass at it too."

Monday, May 30, 2011

Midfoot Strike....

I decided at the beginning of summer that I was going to switch from a heel-strike to a midfoot-strike. I heard it was more efficient and could reduce injuries and make me faster. I also heard that in some people, it could increase injuries. As for me, all it's done so far is give me some blisters on the balls of my feet and they are now turning into calluses. Those hurt, for now. Otherwise, I do feel faster, more efficient, and less overall pain. Maybe those guys were on to something? I guess I'll have to wait until the June 11th Sounds to Narrows 12k to see if things are working or not. I hope this was a good switch. I don't think my feet will be happy with me if I put them through this beating and then went back to my old ways...

There's something about running.

Something that grabs me and won't let go. Something inside me. Maybe it's addiction. Maybe it's the endorphins. Maybe I'm just slightly crazy. Or maybe a lot crazy. Whatever it is, I can't get it out of me, and to be honest, I don't want it to ever leave. I want to run, I want to feel the wind in my face, the ground beneath my feet, the sweat dripping down my face. The deep breathes of fresh air, the feeling of tapping into something deep inside me. I want to go fast.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Something needs to change.

Something isn't right. Things aren't working correctly. I am an engine designed to have an output of 400 horsepower, and I have only ever been able to output 300. I'm not broken, I'm just not running at full speed (no pun intended). Things need to change. Things need to click. I need to realize my full potential. I am faster than this. I am more efficient than this. Something, or somethings, need to change.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

I'm getting stronger...

I can feel it on every run. Every stride, every breath, every mile, I can feel the strength growing in my muscles. The oxygen flows through my body, the calories burn in my legs. I am getting stronger. More importantly, I am getting faster...

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

And so it begins...

In the cold Washington rain, my summer training began. An easy run, nothing too long or too fast. Yet, I faced some bumps in the road, some cobwebs I needed to shake off. A abdominal cramp at mile 2, and then a old pain returning at mile 5, causing me to stop twice. A bit frustrating to say the least (a few obscenities may have escaped my mouth). Day two went by a little smoother. Same abdominal cramp at mile 2, but that was all. And then day 3 came along. I was blessed with a beautiful, sunny Pacific Northwest day, and it made all the difference. Despite being sore from weight training the day before, the sun filled me with energy and I flew through the 6-mile run without a problem. I only hope that I just needed to shake off a few old, nagging pains from the long season, and that I will soon be enjoying a great summer of training.

My feelings about casual runners.

I hate them. Okay, hate is definitely too strong of a word. How about, I dislike them. Not because I think they are too slow, chasing pathetic goals, or bad people. I dislike them simply because they try to blur the line that separates runners. Runners are not one big, happy, group that are all the same. There is a clear divide among us. There are those who run for fun, to get in shape, to make friends, and then there are those who run to be the fastest person on this planet. There are those who run for fun and those who run to win. Sure, those trying to win have a lot of fun along the way, and there are those who run for fun who end up winning a few times, but we are fundamentally different. I have made a separation for the running community: runners and people who run. And the difference is simple. Runners eat, sleep, and breath running, as to say, we eat what we eat only to fuel our bodies for our next run, we sleep only to recover our bodies for our next workout, and we breath only to provide our muscles with the oxygen needed to sustain forward momentum of our bodies. People who run, however, may eat just because, even if it may hurt their running. They sleep when they want to, even if they will miss a run. And they breath to talk or some other less important task. Sure, sometimes they will dedicate one or more of these things to running, but once the run is over, they have a different task. And this post is not to say we can't all get-along or live together or even run together. It is simply to let us know that we are different. We have different goals, ideas, and reasons for running. Do not think we are all the same, because we are not. We are as different as the trails we run on, no two are alike.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Some Deep, Personal Thoughts About My Career

Today as I rush to finish packing my stuff to head home, I stumbled upon my goal sheet. I have always known it was there, stuck on my wall, but I never really thought much of it until I held it in my hands again. As I stood there, looking at it, I began to think about my past goals and where I am in my career. And I realized something. All the goals, the plans, the things I said I was going to do by now, haven't really happened. I was going to be a high school, 4a, cross country/track champion. Didn't ever place. I was going to sign at a big, D1 school. I am currently at a small,D2 school (but it's better than no school at all). I was going to be the freshman that everyone talked about and didn't want to race. Only my teammates and family talk about me. And to me, none of this seems fair. Everything I've done. All the miles. The workouts. The blood. The sweat. The tears. The laughter. The joy after finishing a race how you wanted. The frustration after not. The time spent rededicating myself, over and over, to running. The time I could have spent with the ones I loved, instead spent sprinting through mud puddles and trying to finish the last 2 miles of my run before the sun goes down completely. And what did I get for all that? Which of my goals has been accomplished? Why am I constantly disappointed in all of my efforts? I know I am built for this, my long legs, small, skinny frame. I am a runner. Yet, I can't run fast enough. People have asked me, "What are you running from?" It's very clear that I started out running TOWARDS something, that something being greatness. But ask me that question today, and you might get a different answer. Yeah, I'll tell you I'm running towards my goals, but I might also tell you that I am now running away from my past. Running away from all my failures, my disappointments, the things that make me want to quit when the race starts to hurt just a little too much. But the question I myself now ask is, "Why aren't I running fast enough?"

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

My season is over.

I'd like to forget about the end of it completely. It's time to just train for cross country this fall now.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Tomorrow is the big day for my season.

Tomorrow I race Duke Twilight. It's my last chance to get my goal in the 5k. Go big or go home.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Life Lessons

   Though I am not even yet 20, I have learned a lot of important things about life. Being a runner has taught me many lessons that otherwise would have taken me years to learn. Through my journey's, I have learned that for myself, there are only 3 things I need to survive in this world. I'm not talking about food, water, and sleep kind of things, but things that keep my head straight. These things are: family, friends, and running.
   Family has always been a huge part of my life. When I was younger, and even now, my shy personality has prevented me from being good at meeting new friends and talking to strangers. I struggled through elementary school at being socially accepted, but I always had my family to lean on. I am a mommy's boy and always have been. I have done so much with my mom and spent so much time with her, it is weird now to not have her around. And while I was a mommy's boy, I definitely didn't not neglect my dad. He took my camping and fishing and tried his best to make me a real man, and I believe he did a fine job. And then there is my sister. Once I grew up a bit, my sister and I started spending a lot of time together. We have a lot in common and she has been there for me through a lot.
   The next thing I need to live is my friends. Though I stated earlier I struggled with making new friends, I always had a core set of close friends that helped me survive. I always had at least one person to lean on, hang out with, and just be myself. They have been family friends, school friends, and most recently, running friends. They keep me sane and let me be myself.
   The last thing I need to survive in this world is running. Running has been my outlet for 4 years now. When things get rough, with friends, family, or school, I could always just go out and run to clear my mind and think straight. Running has taught me the importance of hard work, dedication, and perseverance. I had made some of the best friends I've ever had through running. My greatest accomplishments in life and some of my fondest memories have come because of running.
   Anyways, I just wanted to say that real quick. This is something that is always on my mind and I thought it deserved to be expressed. I run my last race of the season at Duke Twilight on May 8th. Look for a sick new time!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

I had to make a tough choice this week.

After my big improvement in the steeple at my region meet, I had a difficult choice to make. I had the option of running a meet in Virginia this Friday to try and drop my steeple time enough to try and maybe get to Nationals, or I could take this weekend off from racing like I had planned and rest for Duke Twilight on May 8th, where I plan on attempting to break 15 minutes in the 5000m. The races would be 9 days apart, but it would be added stress on my body plus I would have to front the gas money for my teammate and I to drive up since the rest of the team won't leave early to get us there. After some thinking,I decided to not race the steeple this weekend. Breaking 15 minutes in the 5000m seemed like a more important goal to me this season and I think I will have a better chance. Maybe I will try to find a meet back home to try and qualify for Nationals in the steeple.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Just raced at Regionals!

So here's what went down... I had a packed day with the 3k steeple, 1500, and 5000m. I started off the meet well with a new PR in the steeple/Regional Championship/facility record. 9:31.3. Why couldn't I do that earlier and have a shot at Nationals? I don't know, but I was very happy with my performance in that race! Next was the 1500, and I didn't "race" it, I just ran it. Too soon after the steeple and I wanted to save my legs for the 5000m, in which I was seeded first. Apparently, I did not do the right things in the 4 hours between the 1500m and the 5000m.... Maybe I didn't stay off my feet enough, or was in the sun too long, or warmed up too much after a long day of racing. I'm not sure, but the 5000m didn't go. I fell way off my goal and felt like I failed myself and my team. The 10 points I should have scored from the win, didn't happen. I cam nowhere near my PR. But, it happens and I have to move past it. A slightly anger-driven cool-down and some music helped out. Plus, our guys 4x4 killed it and won us the meet. Now, my sights turn to Duke Twilight. Time to go under 15 in that 5000m.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

So it begins...

I decided that it's time to share the story of my journey as a runner with the world. I may not be the fastest guy out there (yet...), but I have gone through many of the same trials as most runners do, and I feel it'd be beneficial to share them. This blog may contain feelings, workouts, poems, quotes, and anything that I come across in my journey. I feel like I should begin this blog with what I believe about running...

Every human on this planet was born to run. From the day we are born, our bodies are anatomically designed to propel ourselves, and fast. From the way our quads and hamstrings work together to flex and extend our legs, our calves to add speed to our gait, and our freely moving shoulder joints and core muscles to provide stability to our bodies. We were designed to chase down our prey and to escape from our predators. Unfortunately, the vast majority of us are born into an overly civilized world. We have eliminated the need to hunt for our food because of prepackaged foods in super markets. WE have pushed our natural predators out of our civilizations with modernization. We were once animals, but we have become domesticated. We have all but eliminated the need to run, but for a small few of us, they have not eliminated the desire. A small group of us remain runners. We have not allowed our bodies to lose their function. And most importantly, we have not become domesticated. We are animals at heart. And so very often, we get the urge to let that animal free. We lace up our shoes and burst out the door. We thrive off the feeling of the wind on our faces, the sun in our eyes, the fresh air. Our air conditioner is the rain. Our car is our feet. When you look in our eyes, you don't see a person. You see the eyes of an animal, a wild beast. We have tapped into our roots, our primal instincts. Sure, when the run is over, we go back to our modern, domesticated lives. But you can never keep the animal within caged for long. Eventually, it will come back out.